Sometimes We Expect Too Much From Those Who Never Give Anything

There are occasions when we give ourselves over to others to the point of neglecting ourselves, because we expect these people to act like us. 

Sometimes we expect too much from the people we are in a relationship with. We expect our wishes to come true, for others to behave as we would  and to be reciprocated by those we love.

Sometimes the world doesn’t follow our rhythm and none of this comes true: our universe and our hopes crumble.

However, don’t feel frustrated about it. People need to take certain things for granted to feel a certain sense of security.

Just as every child is certain that their parents  love them, adults also strive to believe that their partner will always be willing to reciprocate their actions.

Because the balance of affective relationships should work like this, despite the sometimes appearing emptiness, disillusionment. Expecting too much when, in reality, we don’t get anything in return.

We invite you to reflect on this.

When we expect too much and receive nothing

There are those who embrace the idea that happiness consists in giving, not in receiving. Perhaps it is the fault of our education or that excessively noble character that forgets an essential aspect to survive: self-esteem.

Receiving is also a right

It is necessary to put aside many concepts that violate our emotional balance. Giving happiness is an act of nobility that enriches us. You can even see it as an obligation: to give is good, but to receive is also an obligation.

• We are not, of course, talking about material goods or favors. When we do something for someone, we don’t necessarily have to expect them to give us back this spontaneous act that comes from the heart.

• What we have the right, and even obligation, to receive is respect. If you give love, they don’t have to return you coldly or selfishly. This is undoubtedly an essential aspect in the affective field.

• In our relationships as a couple, “giving and receiving” is a right and an obligation. It is an energy that is created between two people in which both nourish themselves to grow, to ignite every day the engine of hearts that know what respect and reciprocity are.

Sometimes we expect too much because we would be willing to give so much more

Perhaps on some occasion you have found yourself in front of someone who has started with expressions such as “The problem is that you expect too much from people”, “The problem is that you are too sensitive and you feel bad about everything” …

• These phrases certainly reflect a lack of empathy towards a heart that is willing to give everything for others and that suffers from the absence of gratitude.

• You might say to yourself that “you have to learn to love less”, but what you really should tell yourself is  “I have to learn to love me more”.

To love means to give up a part of oneself to host the other person, to take care of them, to put them at the center of their personal universe and build a world around them.

However, we must not go to  extremes and forget about ourselves. You can expect a lot from the other person, but don’t forget to expect everything from yourself:

• Don’t forget to pamper yourself every day, not to prioritize others to the point of neglecting yourself.

• Give affection, worry, pay attention to details and needs… but expect others to do the same for you.

How to react when we realize that we have never received anything

Your heart will tell you how far you are able to go. If you get up every day with more clouds than stars, if the urge to cry and frustration are the lines you write on all the time, now is the time to react.

• Those who receive nothing remain empty and, even more, may come to think that “perhaps they do not deserve affection, attention, care or consideration”.
• Do not do it, do not allow the emptiness and the affective absence of others to make you believe that you do not deserve love.
• The love that must never abandon you is self-love, which gives you the strength and the bridle equipped with wings to direct you towards personal balance, towards inner peace.

A common idea among emotional psychologists is that the best thing is to  expect nothing from anyone and expect everything from yourself. This idea, however, has several nuances.

People need to expect certain things from those in their personal and emotional circle. For example, they need to know that they are loved, because no one can live with this uncertainty.

What we absolutely need is respect, for ourselves and for others. To do this, always strive to receive it. Love is reciprocity, support and sincerity.

If these ingredients are missing, the relationship will not be authentic or healthy.