Being Together Without Loving Each Other: What Does It Entail?
Many people continue to be together even though they don’t love each other. Couples who are constantly living in unhappiness and who set limits that prevent them from living the life they would like. But why do they do it? What is behind this forced coexistence, made up of malaise?
There are certainly many reasons, and some are more complicated than others. Above all, we invite you to reflect on whether it is worth continuing to live such a relationship. Let’s go deeper into the matter.
Why does it happen to be together without loving each other?
Being together without loving each other: low self-esteem
Many couples don’t love each other but continue to be together because they have low self-esteem. This can be clearly seen in cases of emotional dependence.
When we suffer from low self-esteem, we believe we cannot be happy if no one loves us; for this reason we discharge a lot of responsibility to our partner and we adapt to living relationships that do not enrich us and that do not make us happy.
At the same time, there are many false myths that reside in our minds that fuel these feelings. Thinking that you have missed an opportunity, that not having a partner is a failure, or that there is a time limit to finding love, fosters these relationships.
If we have all these fears, it’s only natural that when we’re in a relationship, we don’t want it to end. Furthermore, we will be inclined to think that we cannot meet anyone else like the person we are with or that no one will find us interesting.
Preconceptions put limits on us. There is no age for love, much less bad is being alone. Questioning these thoughts will allow us to fully enjoy our freedom.
Do not love each other but continue to be together out of habit
Very often couples who do not love each other but continue to be together do it out of habit. This occurs especially in couples who have been together for many years, sometimes since they were very young.
These people are too used to the life they have, to mutual friends and to a routine they don’t want to get rid of, because it would be a problem.
In some cases, however, there are also other reasons behind this habit. Very often, it is decided to still be with a person, because they are economically dependent on them. For example, in relationships where one is unemployed while the other is working.
We must also consider the circumstances, the possibilities of paying a lawyer and everything that involves a divorce procedure (separation of assets, custody …). Many people cannot afford it financially, and because of this they decide to continue their relationship without loving each other.
One of the two fears the other
This happens in abusive relationships. One of the two keeps the other in check through fear and the victim may fear the consequences of a separation.
And if there are children in the middle, the situation can worsen, since the very idea of losing custody or that the children remain in the hands of a dangerous parent could hinder the end of the relationship.
In fact, it’s important not to forget about these kinds of relationships. If we are victims of gender-based violence or domestic violence but fear the spite of our partner if we decide to leave, we must ask for help and report. Staying silent and doing nothing is dangerous, both for us and for our children.
Is it worth it?
Instead of asking ourselves if it is worth it, we should ask ourselves if all this satisfies us: does it make us feel satisfied to think of being together for the sake of our children? Or out of laziness?
These are just some of the circumstances in which two people who do not love each other continue to be together. However, we must also consider that there are people who do it because they have an advantage.
When a person is not happy and does not derive any benefit from being with the other person, the only way out is separation. However, if there is any advantage – whether it’s convenience, not having to get involved in divorce or other matters – it may also be rewarding to keep the situation as it is.
Each person and each couple is a world unto itself, but we must remember that by doing so, one sacrifices one’s happiness and well-being.
A fragile relationship always ends up collapsing under its own weight. Even if the final decision is up to us, it is important to reflect on it and ask ourselves if there are no healthier alternatives.
