I Am A Mother, Not A Slave To Housework: A Letter From An Australian Woman
“Being a good mother, a good wife, a good person does not mean spending eternity cleaning the house.” This phrase went viral on the internet a few months ago after Constance, a 32-year-old Australian woman, posted an intense open letter on Facebook.
Constance Hall is a very busy woman on social networks; her blog shows her lifestyle as an active mother.
She has no problem showing pregnancy stretch marks and strives to encourage other mothers to maintain social relationships, interests and passions of their own.
In January, she published a letter, almost an appeal from a mother who claims her place in society and the right to combine the responsibility of being a parent with self-care.
I am a mother, I am a woman: the letter from Constance Hall
Constance Hall is one of those women who do not hesitate to take their children almost everywhere. She picks them up and takes them to the grocery store or to the beach, to spend a few hours with the other children and her friends.
She does not want to lead a life of renunciation and, therefore, she has established two very firm priorities: her children and herself.
Tired of hearing many of her friends calling themselves “housewives” instead of “mothers” and seeing some of them fall into depression and feel helpless and lonely, she decided to write these lines of encouragement.
“I am writing to that woman in the park, who looks at her cell phone without paying too much attention to her children. I admire you. Why don’t you bother showing others that you are always up and running, 24 hours a day. Because you don’t care what these “cop moms” think of you.
To the woman who has a pile of dishes and laundry, but closes the door behind her to have a coffee with her friends. I admire you. Being a good mother, a good wife, a good person does not mean spending eternity cleaning the house. If you leave everything there and wait a while, your friends will come and wash the dishes. Trust me.
To the woman sitting at the doctor, waiting patiently in line to ask for antidepressants. I admire you. Postpartum depression is real agony, but you are struggling; don’t confuse depression with surrender. You have decided to react, you are a warrior queen to me.
Too often we confuse weakness with strength; being able to ask for help means being strong. And so are you. How many women in your situation don’t find the courage to talk about it.
To the woman who hasn’t shed all the pounds she gained during pregnancy. I admire you. When you start a new, 24-hour, unpaid job that will keep you busy for the next 20 years, it’s not the best time to give up on the cake.
Eat the pie, eat all that cabbage pie and fuck whoever dares to tell you something. Your new body must not suddenly become a matter of public knowledge. “
The importance of setting priorities in life
Constance Hall’s ideas can be shared or not. For some mothers it is important to have a clean house and dishes in place, for others it is important to dedicate all the time to their children.
There are also those who manage to reconcile the two things well.
The words contained in the letter, however, go beyond this.
- Being a mother does not mean completely giving up your life, friendships, dreams or a work project. One must not give up, but change, because one grows as a human being.
- Surely, after the birth of a child, daily life will never be the same again; new challenges, complications will present themselves and at some moments we may feel discouraged. However, being parents, educating, implies being strong, flexible and capable of fighting every day for the people we love.
- It is important to prioritize: remember that if you are not happy, you will not be able to make your loved ones happy.
- If at some point you feel desperate, don’t hesitate to leave the house with the children, to sunbathe, to talk to other mothers and to surround yourself with people who will help you remember how wonderful it is to live and raise a child.
