Manage Whims With 5 Tips
From the age of two and up to five, all children go through a phase of tantrums and nervous breakdowns. These outbursts of anger and frustration, difficult to control, fill parents with doubts and guilt. How to prevent and manage tantrums? In today’s article we explain what precautions to take.
The ideal would be to avoid any situation that could trigger the baby’s nervous breakdown. Sometimes it will be simple, sometimes not. In any case, don’t despair. To manage tantrums , you need to stay calm.
5 tips to prevent and manage tantrums
Children’s whims are nothing more than the result of their emotional development. Around the age of two, babies begin to feel, recognize and express their emotions, such as anger or frustration. As they grow up, they will be able to control them, but at this age they still don’t have the tools they need to manage their emotional universe.
From around the age of two, the child also begins to feel more autonomous. He realizes that what he wants doesn’t always coincide with what his parents want. The tantrums are unleashed just when the child wants to impose his new “will” by testing his parents.
It should also be noted that tantrums may be more frequent in some children than others. In fact, each child has his own character, which defines the way in which he expresses his emotions. Siblings, who grew up in the same family, can also be very different when it comes to whims.
Starting from these basics, we can review 5 tips to avoid or manage children’s whims. We hope they will help you before your little one’s emotional “volcano” erupts.
1. Avoid challenging the child on minor issues
There are things that children “must do” and others that “must not do”. It is, but sometimes it is worth considering whether it is really necessary for your children to do “that thing” at that precise moment. Perhaps you can let them control the situation for a few minutes and then calmly do what is necessary.
Let’s take an example: it’s winter and she has to put on a coat, but the child refuses. If you can wait a few minutes before tying your coat, why insist on having him close it immediately?
If you corner him, with no way out, he will most likely have a nervous breakdown. Leave the decision to him for a few minutes, let him not close his coat. When you can’t wait any longer or it gets cold, close it.
2. Get ahead of frustrating situations
If you have a long busy day ahead of you and your children need to accompany you, get ready. Bring games, water, a snack. When you spend an indoor day away from home, tiredness and boredom will cause a malaise that can lead to tantrums.
If you are doing an activity they like, like playing in the park, but it’s time to leave, tell your children. Tell them it’s almost time to go home, instead of surprising them and suddenly taking them away.
Sometimes, we are the ones who cause children’s whims, putting them under unnecessary stress, situations that they do not understand or in which they do not feel comfortable. Often it is precisely the explosion of anger that makes us realize that the situation was absolutely predictable.
3. Dosing the use of “no”
The constant use of “no” by parents is the cause of many tantrums. The parent’s negative response causes rebellion. Evaluate when you can say “yes” or when you can avoid “no” and offer an alternative that is acceptable to you and the children.
Obviously, there are “no” that are mandatory. If the child is about to put a metal object in a socket, the “no” is peremptory and non-negotiable. But we don’t often talk about such extreme situations. Consider at what times you can give in to a request.
4. Establish clear and reasonable limits
To manage whims, when the situation is still under control, it is important to establish the limits that children must respect and to which they must learn to adapt.
You cannot control everything the child does, tastes, experiences or wears. The excess of control, in fact, limits his desire to know and tests his independence.
On the other hand, it is also not correct to educate with excessive freedom and without limits. Children need some restrictions, they need to know that there are boundaries that cannot be crossed without incurring severe consequences.
5. Check that the baby is well and healthy
While tantrums are mostly emotional outbursts, sometimes they can be caused by physical discomfort. A child who is hungry or who is very tired may explode in a nervous breakdown because he does not know how to manage or communicate his physical discomfort.
For this, the parent’s best ally is routine. Try to respect the times for naps, meals, snacks or baths. This regularity gives your children security and makes them feel at ease, all sensations necessary to prevent tantrums.
When the child is in crisis and tantrums begin
Sometimes techniques to prevent and manage tantrums aren’t enough. When you are faced with an emotional explosion, you must first stay calm. If you get angry too, you won’t be able to help your children.
In general, tantrums take even children by surprise, who are overwhelmed by their own energy. It is therefore important that you remain calm and be ready to help them not to get hurt or to avoid them taking their anger on someone else.
Your children need you to find their peace of mind. Talk to him slowly and in a gentle tone of voice.
Explain to them what is happening, what your position is and invite them to calm down. Avoid giving in to the request in question, because doing so will send the wrong message, which is that by acting up, they get what they want.
If you are in a public place, someone will tell you to ignore your children, others will even physically punish them. We repeat: tantrums occur when children can’t manage their emotions. The best thing you can do is ignore these opinions or advice, and focus on your children.
Ignoring or hitting your children in the midst of a crisis will not help them in any way. Conversely, you will cause them to repress their emotions, which always has dire consequences.
Children need parents to calm down, don’t deny them your love and a hug.
