Relationships: What To Do If The Partner Is Unfaithful?
Trying to imagine our other half in the guise of an unfaithful partner , it is clear to us what to do: leave him! However, when we are faced with such a situation, many doubts and uncertainties can arise and it may happen that we do not know what decision to take. Know that this is completely normal.
When we are upset by an unexpected situation, emotions cloud our judgment. Suddenly we feel lost and cannot see the situation from the right perspective. However, when dealing with an unfaithful partner, there are a few points we should keep in mind.
It takes time to find an answer
As we said, emotions cloud our sight; often we don’t even know how to react or maybe it can happen that our partner asks us for forgiveness and therefore a second chance. Let’s not rush ourselves: let’s take some time.
We can always tell our partner or partner that the situation has taken us by surprise and that at the moment we cannot make a clear decision. In this context, it may help us to talk to a person we trust to express our emotions and to let off steam about the situation.
This third person shouldn’t tell us what to do; he should just listen to us and support us in this difficult time.
This could help us see the situation from another point of view, clear our minds and keep our emotions at bay. Only in this way will we be able to make a decision: end the relationship or give a second chance? This is also a point to think about.
If our partner is unfaithful, is it okay to give him a second chance?
So if our partner is unfaithful, we shouldn’t give him a second chance immediately and rushing ourselves. We should take some time and think deeply because – in most cases – a second chance is an invitation to behave in the same way, or it means continually blaming the other person for the mistake.
A fundamental thing to consider if we really want to give our partner a second chance is that it becomes essential to undergo couple therapy. As much as we think we can forgive our mate without holding a grudge, it is likely that we are lying to ourselves.
For this reason, undergoing a therapy can help to regain trust in the relationship, to stick the pieces together and to move forward in a relationship that has been able to renew itself and that has come out stronger. Without these ingredients, this second chance is very likely to be a failure.
Review your values
We should reflect on our scale of values from time to time. What do we think of infidelity? Do we continue to behave as we did a few years ago or has something changed? Perhaps, it might be useful to review what and to what extent is important to us and act according to our new values.
If infidelity is still something unacceptable to us, the act of forgiveness could give rise to a harmful relationship, in which there are continually arguments and in which there is a lack of trust. In these cases it would be better to break permanently, without second thoughts.
Making a decision will be painful, that’s for sure. However, rowing against our beliefs and accepting something that goes against our values will cause us a lot of pain and give rise to a relationship full of suffering.
We must never stay together for the children
One excuse we normally use to justify forgiveness from our unfaithful partner – as far as this goes against our values - is having children in common. We repeat phrases like ” if it weren’t for our children, I would leave him “, or ” our children need a close family ” and so on.
All of this is a way of not making the decision to end a relationship. Because it is normal for children to prefer parents to be happy, albeit separated, rather than seeing them being together and arguing all the time. The problems that can present children in adulthood, experiencing such situations at home, can also be very serious.
Consequently, if the partner is unfaithful, the first thing to do is to take the time to see the situation better, from the right perspective. So, let’s try to review our scale of values, and only then can we make a decision with absolute clarity.
What we need to be aware of if our partner is unfaithful to us is that it is necessary to go to therapy if we decide to give him a second chance. Only in this way will we be sure that we have taken the right path. This is because all relationships must have a solid foundation.
And you? What do you think of infidelity? Would you be able to forgive your partner if he were to cheat on you?
